A New Mindset - Finding The Courage To Change
This morning I listened to a co-worker from another department ranting about a television show she had watched the a while ago. The show, according to the worker, was degrading to women. She referred to violence against the female characters, sex scenes, and an overall attitude that showed no respect.
I looked up the show online to see how it was described. The network calls it a “Part coming of age story, part small town drama, and part murder mystery that exposes the physical and psychological extremes that some young women are willing to endure to get ahead”.
During the co-workers rant, she continued to tell other works in the vicinity, and anyone within earshot of her voice, that she had continued watching the show because she ‘couldn’t believe’ a network would put a ‘show like that’ on the air. Other employees began to chime in with opinions that varied from advertising money, lack of morals, must not have daughters, and many others. One employee said, “Yet you kept watching it.” The break room got really quiet. The employee continued by saying, “The only way to send a message is to turn it off.”
As I listened to this conversation, my thoughts switched to the young actresses playing these roles as well as the ‘intent’ of the show. To focus on what some young women are willing to do, how they are will to ‘prostitute’ themselves to get ahead leads me to ask what these young ladies have witnessed that has led them to believe they need to behave in these ways to ‘get ahead’. It makes me want to ask them what ‘getting ahead’ looks like to them. I would like to ask the actresses if they experienced this type of behavior in their past. Is this behavior normal or them, and/or did they feel pressured to take this role to advance their career?
I then thought about what the parents of the young actresses thought about this subject matter. I wondered how many of their mothers had been willing to ‘prostitute’ themselves to get ahead, and, if so, had they given any thought to the message they were sending to their daughters.
When you see shows like this, what is your initial response? Are you disgusted, like my co-worker was, yet you keep watching? Do you change the channel? Until the young ladies who find themselves in this position learn to value themselves enough to refuse to play these roles, these shows will continue to be made.
In case you’re wondering, I use the term ‘prostitute’ to refer to an aspect or archetype of one’s personality. When acting as a ‘prostitute’, we are willing to sell our self-esteem/self-worth, our beliefs or morals, and time with the important people in our lives for money or prestige. Think back. Have you ever ‘prostituted’ yourself? I have. Just over 25 years ago, I became a single mom of three authentic children, ranging in age from just over a year old to age 6. Knowing that my children relied on me to meet all their needs created quite a bit of stress, as you can imagine. Sometimes single parents have the support and assistance from family members who live close by or are just a phone call away. In my case, both of my parents had crossed over many years before I became a parent. I did reach out to my ex-mother-in-law a few times, but her thoughts on raising children failed to fit in with what I felt is the way I wanted my own children brought up.
At that time in my spiritual growth, my thoughts were focused on the physical aspects of raising children – keeping a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. That mean keeping a job to keep the paychecks coming in. I never felt like I had the option of starting out on my own, on following my dreams, I just had to keep the job – no matter what. My self-esteem was so low that I was unable to believe in myself, so yes, I sold my self-esteem, my desires, for that weekly paycheck. Most people do - at one time or another. Now I do my best to recognize these situations and look for an alternative that will serve everyone involved. Sometimes that is easy and other times it requires us to consciously choose.
Each new year brings the opportunity for new changes in our lives, including changing our minds - our thoughts - our beliefs - our actions. I only have the ability to change one person – myself. I can share with you what works for me but ultimately the choice is yours. Keep in mind – failing to choose is a choice in itself.
Feel free to answer any of the above questions, or pose new ones, in the comments section below or email me, at mary@marymernsberger.com, for a more personal response. Check out my website at http://www.marymernsberger.com. I look forward to continuing this conversation.
